Madness

Ok, so remember my discussion on how screwed up my stomach is? Yeah, well, it' extended itself to a whole new level. Yay for sponteniously vomiting..in the car...while I'm driving. That was an interesting walk home. I reallyneed to find a new medicine...such as taking the prilosec. grrr. I need help.

Power to the computer

Laptops are good. That's all I have to say.

Power to the computer

Laptops are good. That's all I have to say.

Just a few things to say.

First things first: I'm convinced that my cat knows about her power to scrape all skin off my face by merely giving it a 'bath'. you know all thos sharp pokey things on a cat's tounge? yeah, that hurts when applied to your fave, especially near the eyes or in the same area for a long period time. Why do I tolerate this, you ask? Simple. She's a cat. If you interrupt a cat during her bath, one of her numerous nap times, or simply draw attention to yourself doing something other than providing food, you get your just desserts. Now I've always been a perverse person: I've always considered a cat licking you as a sign of affection, rather like a dog. But think about it. Those sharp pokey things are meant primarily for scraping flesh off of prey...is that what she's thinking when she's licking me? Or is it more along the secondary purpose of thos sharp pokey things: cleansing. Don't disparage that--cat saliva has a powerful cleansing agent. Anyways, does that mean that my cat is insulting me everytime she licks me, insinuating that I am dirty, and thus needing a bath.
Second...more to do with NMU. So now that I've been accepted/admitted/whatever you want to call it--I've a whole new set of worries. Primarily: money. I am a college kid working part time. i have no money. how do they expect me to come up with 200 to pay for the housing application and orientation reseervation? Seriously. Also, the whole purpose of me getting off my dad's insurance was to let me an 'independent'...so why does dad have my FAFSA PIN? Better question: how am I going to get the stupid thing? I'm trying to do taxes. That's weird. i have no clue what I'm doing, but that's what computer programs are for, right? Anyways, am I even going to be able to get much back? mmm...This is a strange year.
My 'schedule' is all screwed up. i used to go to bed at nine o'clock every night and be chirpy at 6 am. Now, I'm here at 11:30 and not considering going to bed for another half hourr atleast. Rather stupid, considering that I hate staying up late and the ensuing feelings of exaughstion the next day. I think I failed a quiz in Chem. Go me. Actually, that class is pretty darn hard. My professor has this tendency to give us 'quizzes' (aka tests) on material that we just Barely covered the day before. Karaoke tracks are rather aggravating to listen to on my mp3 player. Instrumentals on one ear and voice on the other. it makes my ears all tingly and makes me want to turn my head to the side to cope with the imbalance of sound. It's not right!!!
el shaddai el shaddai
El-Elyon na Adonia
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,

good song.

WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happiness. I just got my acceptance letter in the mail yesterday for Northern Michigan University. I am so happy about that. I mean, I've been wanting to go to that school since I was in the 10th grade and just considering going into nursin. Speaking of nursing, NMU has one of the best nursing school sin the US. So, I'm really going to have to work if I want to get into that program. As Geoff so kindly told me, I'm going to be a yooper. For those of you not from MI, a yooper is someone who lives in or is from the Upper Peninsula, or the UP. I'm really excited, but also a bit apprehensive. For one thing, next year, Greg and I won't be going to the same school. Hopefully he will go to Michigan Tech (which is an hour and a half from NMU), but he may end up staying here. Greg and I have never been apart for very long, so I don't know how that's going to be. From what I've seen from other couples, distance is certainly no walk in the park. I just hope that the bond we have now will be strong enough tohelp us get through the difficult times. I have very little qualms now admitting that I hope that we will someday marry. But, I'm certainly not a psychic, so I don't know if that'll happen. the other thin I'm apprehensive about is homesickness. now, i've never been prone to that: divorce, moving around, and now not even living with my family has taken care of that. however, next year, I will be going somewhere where I will hardly know anyone. Can I handle that? I think so, but there are so many people that I know that have gone away for college, but havve needed to come back. Katie, Stephanie Oliver, Ashley Pearce--just to name a few. Time will tell. Meanwhile, in other news, I've caught a cold. Again. You know, I've gotten more colds this season than I ever have before. i'm not typically prone to colds...this is annoying.

iPod

You know what is sad? I want an iPod. Last year when I first started thinking about an mp3 player, I settled on a Creative zen Microphoto as a less expensive solution, and I got onw for my birthday after 3 months of convincing my dad. So when I started think about how an iPod was better than my thingy...I don't know..I'm not going to get one unti my payer dies, but it's nice to think about. I have a slightly obsessive personality..and my L button is being stubborn. anyways, I just need something else to distract myself with. For a my talk about how mature I am, I'm not realy that mature. I've been thinking about dying lately. I mean...it's kind of scary to think about because nobody really knows what will happen..no body really know is there really is life after death. I've always believed there was, even before I knew about God. i use to dream of dying (at 5 years old..) and going to 'heaven' holding my favorite barbie and wondering whether angels would realy et me take my barbie. The thing that scares me the most is the possibilit of there really being nothing beyond our life now. I don't want to think that someday, all that I am might completely come to an end. One really does have the feeling that one is immortal, if only in spirit and mind. Life would really seem so pointless, human need for greatness would really seem so pointless, love would reallyseem so pointless if there is nothing to continue those things past our own fragile lives. Or is the concept of heaven just something to concol us in our grief for others and for the eventual loss of our own lives. Why, then, is the concept of some form of life after death so prevelant throughout societies.

Concerned

So, I've been looking at the facebooks of some people who went away for college and talked to some others, and some seem to be either insanely homesick or came bck because of insane homesickness. Now i'm wondering if I'm going to experience that once I leave. Or will that not necessarily be as much of a problem for me because of my already somewhat living away from my home and being accostomed to moving around. The only thing that would be a problem for me is how much I would miss Greg. He will either still be at NMC or at Michigan Tech. I really hope he goes to Tech...no offense to him or his parents, but I think it might do him some good to be away from his parents. I love his parents to death ut they definitely lean on the overbearing side and I don't know..I think he'd like the space. Who knows. I think I have an obsessive personality...or at least when it comes to music..I've discovered this i high school when I taught myself how to paly the piano just so I could obsessively practice my music. I almost aslways knew my music before everyone else in choir...yay. And now, I've had to find other ways of practising considering that I don't have a piano anymore. Mr. Puchala made the mistake of making a cd of our lastest piece "the Gospel Mass" by Robert Ray. Needless to say I've been obsessively listening to it since I've received it. Now if only I could be this obsessive about school. I need to get a minimum of a 3.7 GPA in order to get an accumulative GPA of at least 3.5. I'm mad. I thought I got a 3.5 last semester, but apparently thy calculate GPA's a little differently than i thought and I actually got a 3.46. In normal situations, I would be happy with tthat, but I need a 3.5 to get a decent transfer scholership and to get into Phi Theta Kappa (which would have also gotten me another decent transfer scholership). Grr...chem is harder that I thought it would be...alot of my classmates are taking Physics and calculus, and her I am just in Mth 111. Mth 111 is really easy, so i should be able to get a four point in that, so my GPA rests on getting a 3.5 at least in chem. grrrr.

Unhealthy

I really shouldn't be up this late. If I even so much as stand up right now, I'll topple over. Sad, isn't it. I once said that me staying up till midnight or later was rather liek me being drunk (can't walk straight, think straight, or talk straight)...except since I've never been drunk, I'm not really sure if my theory is right.I managed to get my ar into a ditch today. Stupid, really. There's not even that much snow. Apparently the road behind Meijer is more icey than I anticipated, because I lost control attempting to stop, and skidded it a ditch. I got my self out of there with only a minor panic attack ( not serious) and no injuries. Shopping for a boyfriend is rather difficult. I was a few days late getting him his b-day present because I was out of funds. I got paid today, so I went to try to get what hw asked for. One problem...he asked for some car part that I'm not even quite sure I could pronounce correctly, much less buy the right one for his car. That was a failure. I ended up getting him speakers, after calling and demanding specifics down to what store to got to and the price. But at least he got what he wanted. I didn't come out of this mess unscathed. I ended upwith three shirts...really cute ones actually. I'm really looking foward to going to North Peak on Thursday. And now, I shall head for bed.

Achoo

Ha! My days of house sitting are over! It actually wasn't that bad: I got an entire house to myself, and the animals were relatively well behaved, but I'm excited to have my own bed back. It was kinda lonely sometimes over there. Yay for this laptop! This summer, I kept bugging Nanny and Grandad about how I needed aa laptop that worked for school, and so I got this. Of course, I'm paying for it, but still, it's awesome. Actually I only have two more payments on this before it's completely paid off. Anyways, this laptop and my cell phone are my connection to the world.
There' a weird thing that I'm gettin used to. Getting hit on. Funny how through most of high school and junior high, not alot of people had alot of interest in me..outside of Greg, that is. But now, even when I'm wearing my grugy work clothes, I get hit on by the guys I work with, and I've even been asked out on a date a couple times by some other people. On New Year's Eve, this gu named Patrick gave me his phone number and an offer for coffee. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I have a boyfriend. But even so, he must have been at least 3 years older than me: he was at the bar having a beer. It's the oddest feeling. it's flattering, but I don't really like extra attentin from strangers. I mean, look at how long it took Greg to get me to go out with him. Alex doesn't count: Iwas in ninth grade. :-)