Hey,
In response to what I wrote yesterday, I do to trust Brandon. As unitnelligent as it probably is, I do. Em had yelled at me last night about trusting him so blindly. She had said something about a rumor going around that Brandon was cheating on Ashley with Sarah, and I din't even think about believing her. He said that he couldn't stand lying, and that definatly counts for lying. Anyway, she told me to take off my blinders. The thing is, I don't think he could do something like that. I mean, Fridaay is a good example. When he unknowingly made a mistake, he seriously got depressed and wouldn't stop trying to make it up to me. Either that, or he's an Emmy award worthy actor. I'm inclined to beleive the first one. Why can't life be fair to those who deserve it the most? (no, I'm not referring to myself)
Dani

Hey,
thursday and Friday were quite easily the worst days I've had in a long time. On thursday, em and I got in to a fight . It all started out when Em and Derek started fighting. I finally got sick of her beating on him and I yelled at her. Lucky me, Brandon was there as well. It then ran off and Brandon very kindly started to help put the peices back together. He got Em and Derek to apoligize and helped me calm down. I then embarrassed myself by crying on him.
On Friday, I found out he(Brandon) was going out with Sarah. That wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that I like him as more than a friend and I was under the impression that he liked me too and was single. We had misunderstood what eachother had said which was why I landed in that fiasco. Because of that, trust went down the drain. My dad doesn't even want me to hang out with him. He says that a guy who even when going out with another should NOT flirt with another and give her the impression that he is single and cares for her. The problem is that I am entirely TOO trusting, forgiving and nieve. It's not in me to distrust someone who has been kind too me. I know that, yet I'm still like that. I don;t even know if I can trust him anymore.
Dani

Hey,
I'm kinda in a bad mood. Em and Derek got in another argument today and because of it, Em left early. Will she not learn that in order for Derk to be nice to her over a long period of time, She needs to be continually kind. Derek is an insensitive jerk. Em overreacts (And Em, if you are reading this, you do to overreact, don't try telling me you don't).
I'm also very happy. For one, Brandon wants me to dance with him at the dance in a couple of weeks. For two he gave me his phone number. Actually, I gave mine to him first, but who cares.
Dani

Hey'
Great, now Em might be developing a.....thing for Brandon. This is how we became friends though. We found out that we both liked the same guy being Derek and that's how we bonded. I'm ok with her posibly having a very slight crush on him, it would be hard not to. I know that she wouldn't do anything drastic such as try to atract his attention knowing that I already like him. Besides, now she understands how I feel.
this will make us better friends. oh well.
Dani

Hey,
Well ife has just gotten very interesting. Brandon has addmitted that he might have a crush on me. OH MY GOSH!!!!! i have no idea what I'm supposed to feel. If he didn't have a girlfriend already, things might be a little more simple. but since that isn't the case, I'll just have to deal. I think I'll just wait and see what happens.
Dani

Hey,
It's been a let's say.... insightful day. Well in order to get to that , I have to tell about what kind of mood I was this morning(although that doesn't have much to do with it, I still want to talk about it). I was really happy for three reasons. (1.) I counted my blessings. When I think of wht God has done in my life, I have no reason to be
depressed. in one year, I got several great friends, My Dad met and married the love of his life (besides God), Debbie, my new step-mom as of August 31, 2002. I gained three new step-siblings who I absolutely love, I had my first boyfriend(not necessarily a good thing, but definately a learning experience), and I have a warm and caring church that I'm a part of. (2.) The second reason was that I get to see my friend again (3.) She was bringing me Jelly-Belly's, my all-time most favorite candy/food.
Well anyway, I was very hyper until I got to second hour. there I found out that my friend, let's call this person ABC was depressed(and this person is rarely depressed.)
I also found out why ABC was depressed. the person before living here lived in another state and had a certain special friend there. ABC tried to keep her out of trouble when she was drunk and having problems. Basically, ABC tried to keep her alive. One of the reasons that ABC is here in the first place is because the courts ordered ABC to live with ABC's dad.(I don't know why). Anyway,the girl called ABC a couple nights ago asking if ABC was coming back. ABC said no. Well last night, the girl commited suicide and ABC thinks it's their fault never mind that they are miles apart from the other person. ABC is carrying the guilt of a suicide that isn't ABC's fault. The thing is, thatit isn't their fault, and ABC had no one to rely on for strength. ABC wants to solve all the world's problems while leaning on their self as much as possible. ABC is a Christian which is good because,ABC understands what I mean when I say that they CAN rely on God. I had a hard time convinsing the person that their feelings and emotions ARE legitimate and that ABC doesn't have to be made of steel. More later
Dani

Hey,
The homecoming dance was last night. I really enjoyed it. Even though I said that I don't dance, I danced anyway(a lot). Greg got me a corsage and bought my ticket, which surprised me. I wasn't expecting that. It was funny how all the girls(including me) went around complementing each other on their dresses no matter if they liked it or not. It seems to be some type of ritual we have, to get all dressed up to see who has the best dress and hair style. May the guys never know what it's like for preparations to get all dolled up. It MUST have been a guy who when irritated at the female species, designed the high heels. Greg did dance, which is good, because if he didn't, Brandon threatened to tickle me as much as possible on Monday. (He'll probably tickle me anyway). I did slow dance with Greg, although I have little desire to do that again. no offence to Greg, I have little desire to slow dance with any guy. (even the one's I like). I just don't like being so close to guys, and I don't for the most part like them touching me. I don't understand why. At the pep rally on Friday, I was half asleep when Brandon tickled me. I jerked a wake, panicked even though, I the back of my mind,I knew who it was. i know that the first few seconds, I had a frightened expression on my face. (it may have been just because I wasn't expecting it). It was pretty interesting watching Brandon attempting to "rave". I want to know what "rave" is, because, I don't think that it was what Brandon thought it was. Other than that, he was pretty good at dancing, considering that it was his first time dancing. It was for me too. Ashley is really lucky, and I'm happy for her(and just the tinyist bit jealous, but that's ok)
More later
Dani

Hey,
Today was a pretty uninteresting day at school, other than the pep rally. I'm not going into very much detail over that. If you want a little of it though, go to livinginafishbowl.blogspot. I hung out with Brandon during the preparation of it and durining it. I made the mistake of telling him that I'm veerryy ticklish. after that, it seemed, he couldn't refrain from it:-) I had asked him whether or not he was just screwing with my mind yesterday, and he said no for three reasons: 1.That's mean
2. He's honest to a fault 3. He hates dishonesty. I don't think he has any romantic attatchment to me (which is good, because he has a girlfriend). He's just really nice to girls, I guess. It's late, I'm going to bed.
Dani

Hey,
Dani here. As I beleive I've said before, what I have written last week isn't nessasarily
how I feel now. I'm starting to get over Derek. I know that that will probably never amount to anything, so why waste time and emotions over him. I've been starting to think like this for a while, but haven't said anything since I knew I still have feelings for him, it's completly obvious, and I don't like appearing as if my emotions sway like the wind, drifting to one interest to another. I'm not like that, but I don't tend to say things pretaining to my heart without thinking it over, and even then, I'm still not sure. It will take some time, but I'm going to try my hardest to get over him. I'm on my way, but definetly not even close yet.
Just when I think that I have everything figured out, there's a new twist to the plot of life.
In geometry, I sit in a group of four: Allison, Brandon, Ashley(Brandon's girlfriend), and me. Brandon and I have taken up with having written discussions, mainly about nothing in specific. Well lately, our discussions have turned more serious. Today, Brandon's girlfriend wasn't here. He started complementing me telling me I was beautiful(which I'm not used to that considering Dad is the only one to say things like that to me, but then again he's supposed to) which was of course flustering me and making me blush(which seemed to encourge him more) which flustered me more. I had asked him why he was saying that stuff and he just came up with a couple of very cryptic statements. He said something about a small certain lack of trust between his girlfriend and him.(I wonder why. He is cute and he's nice to all girls)
he said he was going to wait and see if it grows or diminishes. It was on the tip of my tounge to ask if he was using me to test the waters(but then again, she wasn't here. That doesn't bode well for what type of character he has). He also said he wasn't telling why. It is very possible that I am overeacting and it will blow over tomorrow. Or he was playing with my mind. If that's the case, he's very successful at it.(whydo I feel like I am deluding myself as usual? I'm very good at that). I will wait and see tomorrow. The problem is, I think I'm starting to like him. He HAS a girlfriend!
He had asked me why I alwys blush or smile when he is in proximity(I didn't realise I was). He seems to be a great person, but I'm not totally sure. He says he's a Christian and he is the first guy I've talked to who actually understands what I'm saying when I'm talking about Christianity. He doesn't swear very much, has a great sence of humor, is intelligent, isn't obsessed with sports(even though he does play football), doesn't seem to be oblivious,and treats females right (chilvilrous). I don't know him well enough, but that could be remedied. Time will tell.
Dani

Hey,
How is it that I can't seem to keep my mouth shut?!? Last night I accidentally called my sister Alex a slut. I meant to say that she tends to dress like one, which hurt her feelings. I don't think I should have told her that she looks like a slut even if half that time she does. She has to have her shirts super tight, jeans butt huggersand super low,(thus showing off her belly), and skirts and shorts really short. If they aren't she roles them up.Slut isn't even the right word for that.I guess the only way to describe it is that she is someone who is too nieve to realize exactly what type of message her clothes are sending. Yes, a lot of people dress like that, but that doesn't mean she should. I'm kind of worried about her. She hangs out with absolute JERKS, and one day I'm afraid that one of them is going to hurt her in someway or get her into trouble somehow. I know, I shouldn't be borrowing trouble, but it's kind of hard NOT to worry about her.